I found you…I was broken, confused, unable to do little else than distract myself with social media. I felt alone. Groups of new mothers surrounding me with their giggling babies…it’s so easy for them, WHY me? Why did I lose my son?
By chance I discovered you through your mom, CarlyMarie in the summer of 2014. Just like me she lost you, her son.
Over time, and through her tremendous pain your mom began to create something beautiful. She still does. And this beauty resonates with all of our babies. I clung to that beauty as tightly as I could. It opened the doorway to meeting lots and lots of women who also lost babies. It provided me hands of healing from multiple women on the journey of loss. I was no longer alone.
Christian, your mom may be thousands of miles away but her heart is mere centimeters from mine.
Honored to hold the very crystal Carly held when she birthed Christian.
By your very name, Christian, you were meant to do something wonderful. Your name comes from the Egyptian word root kheru, meaning “voice.” You prove that whether or not your earthly feet touch the ground, that you have a voice. And this voice is a voice for others in very vulnerable times. You speak. And we listen with our broken spirits.
I had the unspeakable honor of meeting your mom Carly during a Return to Zero Healing Retreat in Seattle. She is everything you’d expect her to be and more – earnest, bright, caring, a wonderful listener…simply real. At this retreat, she introduced you to the base of a large evergreen tree. I felt your soft kisses as the wind caressed our cheeks. You were there. You are everywhere. And so is my son.
Meeting Carly in Seattle at the Return to Zero Healing Retreat 2015.
We never understand just WHY something happens. It’s not fair. It’s messy chance. Carly taught me, among many things, that we can take this W.H.Y. and use it to motivate What Heals You.
Christian, thank you for being you. And thank you for providing a path to your loving mom, and the rest of the Dudley family.
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